• James Rohr

Did Fantasyland Ruin Your Last Relationship?

One of the most critical lessons to be learned in dating and relationships? When he tells you where he’s at, and what he wants, believe him!

It’s so easy to get caught up in fantasyland. someone may be super hot, or look great on paper, but when he’s telling you about his life and making it clear he doesn’t want anything longterm, or that he’s in the middle of a divorce and not sure about commitment, listen to him. And more importantly, believe him.

The odds are you aren’t going to change his mind about his commitment level. Train yourself to be in the moment, to master your energy so that you don’t get awestruck by potential that you miss the cues, or clearly spoken truths, that can help you make the best decision moving forward.

This also applies to your friends with benefits and side guys. Most likely they aren’t going to become your longterm committed partner.

And maybe it’s happened to you in reverse. Maybe you’ve told a guy what’s up with where you’re at and they become stage 5 clingers. They don’t want to believe you, they want you to be at a different stage of commitment than you are, and it’s clear they are out of touch with what you’re saying.

Things can get weird.

And they aren’t in accordance with the highest vibration of mutual love and respect, because people fall for an idea or fantasy, other than what is actually happening.

If you find yourself with selective hearing or selective believing, it’s time to take a long hard look in the mirror. Are you compromising your desire and integrity to hang around with someone who isn’t all in with you? How long have you been waiting for him to make more of a commitment? Would you rather identify with a sort-of relationship than with no relationship?

People tend to be pretty transparent about where they’re at and what they’re looking for. The problem is that we aren’t always listening…And the longer you stick around, the harder it can be to heal and move on!

Has this ever happened to you? How did it go down and how did the relationship end?

And more importantly, how did you recover? Are you free and clear of this? Or does the memory of this experience still hold you back? 

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